a whole big bag of sore

Go me! I have been to the gym, working out hard, for the last three days. Today will make four days in a row. Yay!

The only thing is...I hurt! All weekend I moaned around work like a lame-ass going "Ow. Ow! Oahhh. Wahhh. Ohh. Oww! Oh."

I'm pretty sure everyone there wanted to put me out of my misery.

I swear, I stretched and everything! That's what hubby asks me every time I complain about being sore. "Did you stretch?" And I say, "No," just like that, all condescending because why am I going to take the time out to actually stretch?! But this time I really did and I still hurt everywhere! Why the hell am I going to keep working out if it makes me feel like this afterwards?!

But the good news is I'm really proud of how hard I've been working. I've been, like, jogging and stuff. (Note to self: buy better jogging bra.)

There is a girl at work who is studying sports therapy and I keep bugging her with questions. "Why am I sore? Why does this hurt? What's this? What's that? Blah blah blah?!" I'm pretty sure she's going to start charging me by the hour.

Now if only I can keep this up.

hmm...

I originally deserted my blog here at blogger for a new blog host called blogcharm sometime last october or so. The idea behind blogcharm is that they pay you a little bit every time someone views your page--no ad clicking needed. Sounds great, right?! So I've been there for a while and I am just about to make it up to the $10 minimum required for a payout when I get an email saying, surprise! We're having difficulties and cannot make payouts at this time.

Can you say scam alert?!

So I may be back here soon. Keep an eye out! ;)

chocolate

In case I've never mentioned it here before, my goal is to one day open a coffeehouse. And one of the things I would like to have in said coffeehouse is homemade goodies. And one of the goodies I want to homemake is chocolate. Or should I say choooocolaaate. :)

And last night I was at Target (lurve Target) and I happened to be in their chocolate section (just happened to be, really!) and I saw this new Choxie bar called the hot chocolate bar. Here's the description:

"deep, dark truffled chocolate with chipotle chili heat"

That made me say things like YUM! and OOH! (and maybe drool a little) so I took it home with me and ate it while I made some other chocolates to bring to bible study tomorrow.

(When it comes to chocolate I say let the masses eat the cheap stuff while I eat the pricey mexican-spice-containing stuff.)

Anyway it was SUPER good and HOT! Like, you pop it in your mouth and go, "Mmm, smooth." and then in the next second you're reaching for your Dunkin Donuts Gingerbread Latte (which, while good, is not such a great combo with spicy chocolate, in case you were wondering) because HOT! HOT in your MOUTH!

So yeah, it was so good that I went online and googled the ingredients so I can make my very own delectible chocolates that will make my friends' mouths (and eyes) water. I'm hoping to find smoky chipotle powder in my stocking Christmas morning. :)

grr

Stupid blogcharm won't let me in--it seems to be seriously messed up right now--so I'm fulfilling my blog habit here for the moment...at least enough to say I am locked out of my blogcharm account and they seem to be messed up. :) Hope to be back soon!

my other blog

Oh, I wanted to tell you (last post today, I swear.) if you don't see me here for a while, check out my other blog here. Yeah, I wanted to see if I'd actually get paid to blog. So far I've earned $0.016! Yes!

But really, I plan on that being my "keeping family informed" blog, while this is my "no-holds-barred, venting" blog. I don't always want my family and friends knowing the stuff I don't mind telling total strangers. :)

Postpartum rant

OK people, my birthday is in a week and I want my birthday money NOW because there is a sale on Victoria's Secret stuff and there are some dresses that I hafta have for summer. Cuz in case no one's ever mentioned it before? Dresses are a new mommy's best friend.

They slip right over your head, skim right over bigger bellies, and poof! You instantly look like you showered and are somewhat together!

Get me this in white, please, so the spitup doesn't show too much. :)

Oh and speaking of new mommies. Y'know that period when your baby is a few months old and your prego hormones are wearing off and your hair--all your gorgeous hair that your pregnant head saved up--starts falling out in gigantic clumps?

Yeah, going through that now.

I pull humongous rats out of the drain every day. Well, every day that I get to shower. And then in between showers I can't run my fingers through my hair or take out a ponytailer without huge clumps coming out.

GROSS!

And you know, when you're a redhead it's really hard to blame all-over-the-place hair on other people. It just doesn't work.

And while I'm on the subject, my face is a mess. I'm breaking out like crazy. WTH?! It's a good thing I'm too busy cooing with baby R to notice too much. Until I need to, like, go somewhere. Then it's like, break out the makeup! And guess what that does?! Yeah, it's a vicious cycle! :)

Dang hormones. :)

I hate salespeople

Hehe, second post in 10 minutes. I'm just procrastinating going to the gym and cleaning my house.

Have you heard the commercial on the radio for the "See Clearly" method? It's something about how to improve your eyesight so you don't have to keep getting thicker glasses every year.

I thought I'd call the number, since the fact that I need a new prescription every year kind of freaks me out.

The woman who answered asked me some questions, then declared I'd be an excellent candidate for the see-clearly method (surprise surprise).

She got me all convinced that I needed their free video, then told me it would just be $9.99 for shipping and handling.

I was like, "Whoa, whoa whoa." I've mailed videos before and I know for a fact you can ship it media mail (haha I wrote media male. Can't wait til hubby comes home Friday!) for like 2 bucks. And if the extra is to pay someone to wrap it and ship it? Then it's not a free video! I mean I know ten bucks isn't a lot but it's the principle of the thing.

So then she tells me I can just go to seeclearlymethod dot com and watch the video online. Scammers! Charging me $10 when you're giving it away free! :)

Anyway I'm going to check out the video sometime when I have time to sit and watch it, and I'll tell you what I think.

My 7-year-old daughter, J, has her "celebration of learning" ceremony tomorrow.

Celebration of learning? What the hell is that?

The kids had to bring in stuff to make posters with that shows what they're interested in. That's fine, J likes doing stuff like that. Of course, it's up to me to find all the stuff, but whatever. And they are putting on a play version of Where the Wild Things Are. J is all upset that she's just a tree, and she doesn't even get to say anything. I got to give her the "There are no small parts just small actors" speech so that was good. Maybe she'll go on to follow in her mother's drama-geek footsteps.

But then I got a call from the room mom (if I knew who the room mom was I woulda checked my caller ID and let the machine get it) who wanted to know if I could bring a snack and some juice for tomorrows celebration. *sigh* OK. Then she wanted to know if I could also donate to the fund for a gift for my child's teacher. I said no.

I mean, maybe I'm totally off base here, but why should I give my child's teacher a gift for teaching my kid? Isn't that her JOB? Isn't that why she gets PAID? If I'm not mistaken, teachers get the summer off with pay. I think that's gift enough, don't you?

I just get so irritated when we are constantly asked for stuff. Donations for this, dollars for that, it never ends! And check out Rockstar Mommy's post on today's kids and the constant reaffirming we give them. Bloody celebration of learning. I'm just glad her school doesn't do things like graduation ceremonies for Kindergardeners or something.

I guess I'm kinda being bratty about the celebration of learning thing. J and the other kids will love showing off what they've done all year. I just don't want my kids growinig up thinking they should be celebrated excessively for what is, essentially, their job. I praise J for the stellar report cards she brings home, isn't that good enough? :)

But you know I'm gonna be all, "Wow! You were the best tree ever!" :)

what's that giant yellow thing in the sky?

The sun finally came out Sunday! I am so excited; it's been so long!

I get so depressed when the weather is bad. I think I need to participate in one of those sleep studies I hear about on the radio for people who get depressed all winter.

But now that the sun is out I feel like me again! Of course, it helps that I have the week off of work while hubby is in CA on business. I actually get to go to bed at a reasonable hour (read: right after my kids) and get up early like I like. I'm such a morning person, and I don't realize how much working at night, going to bed so late, and getting up late really affects me until I get a break from it. I cannot WAIT to quit my stinkin job and stay home!

Speaking of home, my house is such a mess! I'm going to be up all night just trying to clean it...which kind of goes against what I just said about going to bed early and getting up early. Since baby R.'s been here it's been almost impossible to get anything done. I end up spending one night a month up until sunrise cleaning, folding, mopping, while listening to my downloaded music.

That'll be me tonight. Fun fun!

scary underwear

so glad my hubby wears boxer briefs!

Found this pic here (not sure how) and here are some more scary things about them:

1. Why is there a model wearing them? Wouldn't a simple picture of the underwear suffice?
2. Why do they come in a zillion different colors?
3. I see they are available for screenprinting and wholesale orders. Is there a large demand from companies wanting to put their logos on mens' briefs?
4. Did this model shave his legs?

I have to stop idly browsing the web.:)

good morning to me

Yay, it's 6:30 and I've been up for an hour! I have always been a morning person but since I don't usually get home from work until almost 11pm I always miss my favorite part of the day. I love when I'm up to see the sun come up and hear the birds start singing. I really need to get up this early every day. It's like working out--it feels so good but the act of actually doing it is so hard sometimes. Bed is so comfy! :)

So I had a very pleasant hour of coffee, email, and cleaning the kitchen (ooh exciting) before the girls got up.

I'll probably be back in bed for a nap later. :)

hm, How should I say this? Why is it that some of my favorite girlfriends have kids I can't stand? And you know, when you have little kids it's hard to get together without the kids. So, like, I can't be friends with these girls til their brats--I mean, kids--are all in school.

Of course, my kids are all perfect angels. And did I mention beautiful and exceptionally intellegent? ;)

OK OK I know brat is in the eye of the beholder. But this beholder can't stand her friends' kids. Like this one girl? Her daughter gets upset at the tiniest little imagined infraction, and then stars whining and crying in this hysterically high voice that is impossible to understand and her mother, my girlfriend, totally caters to it.

"Oh, what honey? She breathed on you funny? Well I'm sure she didn't mean it. She won't do it again. OK?"

Meanwhile her son is upstairs in my bedrooms tearing stuff apart. Mind you, he had to unbuckle the safety gate to get upstairs.

And this other girl whose relationship to me will remain unmentioned lest she find out I'm talking about her (cuz I'm so anti-confrontation)--her son gets together with my kids and all hell breaks loose! They're running all over the house throwing things and tearing things off the shelves and screeching at the tops of their little lungs.

And the time last month when I met a girlfriend at Target. Her kids are running all around, picking stuff up off the shelves and stuff and my friend is just like, "Oh, don't do that, please give that back, OK?"

I don't spank my kids. I just don't want my kids to live in fear of me like my sister and brother and I did of our parents. But man, I don't let them do whatever they want! Aaahhh!

OK I'm off my high horse now. When I first had Miss J. at age 20 and had no mommy friends I dreamed of the day I would have some. Now I have lots of mommy friends that I just love so I should count my blessings. I'm going to call them all...in about 5 years. :) Kidding!

***

Oh, here's the latest fun return from my lovely customers at work. This guy came in with a big ol' iPod--you know, the 20-gig ones we sold about a year ago that are much bulkier and heavier and less-cool than the ones we sell now--that was a year old and all scratched-the-hell-up. I suspected that he only wanted to return it so he could buy a cooler one so, since we don't get credit from the vendor for the antiquity, I told him we would not take it back (shut up, I'm not powertripping).

Well, he went to the manager (I put that in italics so when you read it, it makes that whiny sound a customer makes when he wants to "talk to the manager"), who told him SURE we'd take it back as long as he went home and got the earphones and software. Sure! Why not?!

I tell you I am going to start tearing my house apart looking for stuff to return. Who cares if I got it at my wedding shower 6-and-a-half years ago?!

another lovely day

A recent exchange with a potential member at work:

Him (while standing under the HUGE sign that says how much a membership costs): How much is a membership?

Me: Fifty bucks.

Him: How much if you pay in cash?

Me: Um, fifty bucks. Wanna know how much it is if you pay with a check?

Him: ...

Me: or a credit card?!

Why haven't I been fired yet?

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

I have found chocolate heaven, and it is Green & Black's.

I was at the grocery store the other night after work and I wanted chocolate. I figured since I am a wife and mother now I should treat myself right by only eating GOOD chocolate from now on (goodbye stale hershey's kisses), so I picked up some organic chocolate bars. I couldn't decide on one so I got the "Mayan Spice", the caramel and the mint bars. I wanted the espresso and "70% Dark" bars too but at $3.50 a bar I already had almost 12-bucks-worth of chocolate so I'll try those next time. :)

OH MY HEAD are they fantastic. I was planning on making them last until my next grocery trip but it's pretty hard, they're so good. Oh, and I think the hubby discovered my stash so that didn't help. Good God thats good chocolate. I'm never eating cheap chocolate again. Of course, I may have to get a second job to support my new habit...

baby teeth

My baby will be three months old on the fifth. Already! And for the last couple of days she's been acting, well, not herself. I'll try to nurse her and she screams bloody murder until I give her a bottle. Not every time, but once or twice a day. And that is after I check to see what else might be wrong, you know, diaper-hot/cold-lonely-bored-tired. And when she gets the bottle and drinks a few ounces she starts chomping on the nipple. And then she does this bite-pull, bite-pull thing that I am SO glad she doesn't do while she's nursing! And now she's crazy drooling everywhere.

Is my baby getting teeth already?!

The other girls got teeth at around 6 months, I think, which I guess is kind of early. Especially since I didn't get teeth til after my birthday. Please don't tell me she's getting teeth already, I've never nursed a baby with teeth before, having stopped before my girls got theirs, and I'm not ready for Miss R. to give up the damned-convient boob just yet!

grad photo

grad photo,
originally uploaded by tragically unhip.

This is an old picture of my hubby's high school graduation. He's the one on the right. No, that's not me in the middle. Yes, I know they have dorky haircuts and dorky clothes but hey, this was the 90s. And we were dorks. :)

Why I might just lose all faith in humanity

Man, I can't even read the news anymore. I just can't!

This guy took his 13-month-old baby out of her crib, realized she'd spilled something on herself, and put her in the dryer and turned it on.

Could you imagine?! Good God.

On a lighter note...

I've worked in my crappy part-time customer service job for about six and a half years. Part of my job is to take customer returns.

I'm always saying that, with all the crazy stuff we see coming in, I'm going to write a book and make tons of money off of the crazy crazy people. And I've decided to start telling you all about it for free! Don't say I never gave ya nothin! :)

So yesterday was SUPPOSED to be my day off but I got called in anyway because one of my coworkers--oh, let's call her Ma, cuz that is, in fact, what we call her at work--forgot she was supposed to be closing that night even though she writes the schedule for our department and came in for the opening shift by mistake.

Holy run-on sentences. Anyway.

As is usually the case when you're NOT supposed to work but end up working anyway, it was a crappy night. I had the craziest people. Like one guy? Returned a huge $2000 flat screen TV that was a freakin year old. Why? Because he wanted a newer one, of course!! And being the store that we are, we happily gave him the refund so he could upgrade his television. He'll be back in another year to do it again.

I can't believe what people return. Another woman returned a rose bush that she bought last year. It never blossomed so she dug it up and returned the dead dry mouldering stump. I mean, I can't blame her for wanting some stinkin roses for her money but ew.

And another guy had his watch--his relatively cheap, $50 watch--for 3 years and when it stopped keeping the correct time did he buy a new battery? No, he just returned it and got a brand new one! And the lady with the cordless phone. She had it for a year and the battery died. Did she buy a new rechargeable battery, since they do occasionally need to be replaced? Why would she?! She returned it and got a new one.

Then there are the people who return and re-buy stuff they dropped out in the parking lot, the people who keep salad for two weeks and then wonder why it's all wilted so return it, the people who repeatedly return computers the very day before the return policy ends so they can upgrade...

This stuff happens all the time. I've stopped even trying to care, although I don't know where these people get the balls to return this stuff. We take it all back, and it's not my money, so I just have to keep my mouth shut. I like to think of what I'd say to these people if it were my store. :)

Wouldn't you like to know where I work?! Unfortunately, while I do hate my job, I still need it for a while longer so I won't be telling you. :) Sorry.

melodramatic me

ugh, OK. I don't want anyone out there in blogland to get the wrong impression of my hubby, or our marriage. When I wrote that post yesterday I was upset and disappointed and mad and, while I'm not apologizing for how I felt, I just want to say that I have a tendency for melodrama when things don't go my way.

Hm, that might even be an understatement. :)

So please don't think my hubby is a total jerk--would I be married to him if I was?! (Um, no.) We're a pretty good team, him and me, and we very rarely row. It's just that when we do, I go all j.lo on him. (What do you mean there's no sparkling water in my dressing room?!)

Oh and do I have to mention that he doesn't read this blog? I mean, where would I vent then?! :)

the birthday party that wasn't

OK, so imagine you're my husband, a very family-budget-minded fellow. My birthday is fast approaching and I have taken a day off of work to throw a party. I call you from work and say, "Hey, honey, I have the Saturday before my birthday off from work, would it be all right with you if I threw myself a party?" You say, "Sure, why not?"

Am I WRONG in thinking it's OK for me to throw a party? Am I wrong to start inviting people to said party?

So why would you, as my husband, come home today and tell me that maybe it isn't such a good idea to be throwing a party, since we've been trying to not spend money?!

Here's a little background; see, we've been trying to pay off our debt so I can quit my stupid job and stay home. And I'm really looking forward to being home and not worrying about balancing schedules and missing fun weekend stuff and all that. This is a noble goal to which I am dedicated. But the whole POINT of me CALLING to ASK if the party would be an OK thing was this very point! No, I didn't say, "Hey, honey, do we have money to throw a party?" but I figured it would be ASSUMED that that's what I meant. I mean, HELLO, what else would I mean? Did he think I was just asking for the hell of it?!

So now I have to cancel the party and uninvite all the people I've already invited. Sure, you say, I could make a budget and try to see where the money would come from but I don't want a bare-bones tiny little shindig, I want a huge, loud, fun blast! So screw it, I'm just going to cancel the party so I don't have to listen to the complaining. And while I'm at it I'll just ask to be scheduled for that Saturday after all so I don't have to be home remembering why I had the day off in the first place. And we'll just forget I'm even having a birthday.