bleach me baby

Hey, remember when I tried to dye my hair purple?! Good times, good times.

Well, a few days ago I tried again, this time with some funky bleach-out highlighter. My goal was big, fat, funky, artfully-arranged chunks of highlights.

I followed all the directions. I even cracked a window in the bathroom because Dang! that stuff could kill ya with the stink. I painted the stuff on and didn't even get the bathroom looking like someone killed a bleach bottle in there. I sat there, reading a book, shaving my legs, drinking hot cocoa, for an hour and fifteen minutes.

Then I washed the stuff out, went to bed, and woke up thinking "Yes! When I go downstairs and take off this towel I'm going to have funky, artfully-arranged chunky highlights! Supercool!"

So I went downstairs and took off the towel and? Nuthin (you've probably guessed that already, right?). Not a single spot of anything that would indicate I'd spend over an hour with bleach in my hair.

I'm just about convinced that my head is undyeable.

But! I have CVS Extrabucks or whatever the heck they're called and as soon as I get some more mo-nay I'm going to hike on over there, buy another box of Super FX bleach-out highlighter or whatever it's called, sit in the bathroom and soak my head in the stuff (not my whole head, just artfully-arranged pieces of it) for as long as the directions say I can.

And maybe a little longer!

Then, I'm going to the nearest Hot Topic and getting me some more Manic Panic Purple Hair Dye and throwing it on some of the bleached-out parts. Cuz dangit, I'm determined to get this hair some color other than red some time before I'm old.

And by that, I do not mean gray!! Gray is not a hair color! And all you hairs better be listening because I see what you do in the middle of the night, don't think I don't notice!!