Wednesday, June 27, 2007

things about florida (or at least orlando) that are really weird but that i love anyway, with the exception of exit only lanes and stripper joints

  1. The animals are crazy. If they want a piece of food on the ground and there are people all over the place, they totally don't care. They just march on up, look you in the eye, and say "step off my food, beeyatch!" and then run away with it.
  2. There are lizards everywhere. Prior to this little trip I was under the impression that lizards came from the pet store. And if you wanted to find one in the wild you had to go to, like, Brazil. But at SeaWorld the other day there were little anoles all over the place! The people trying to catch them to bring home included a 12-year-old boy, his 9-year-old little sister, and me. ;) Well, OK, I didn't actually try to catch any, but I might have yelled out "Run, little lizards, or you're coming home with me!!" And they were sunning themselves on the curb between the sidewalk and the bushes, and as you walked by they'd scoot into the bushes, then as you walked and looked back, you'd see them pop out again to continue their sunbathing.
  3. The signs here are all in English AND Spanish. I have 5 different Spanish radio and five different Spanish TV stations to choose from (love my Spanish radio!!). Everyone everywhere speaks Spanish.This would be fine, except I'm under the mistaken belief that I can speak Spanish too. So I make a fool out of myself trying to, say, order breakfast in Espanol. (I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't serve bald monkey fritters.)
  4. I think I mentioned this in my last post but they let you just walk around with your alcohol. Now, for someone who has lived in Massachusetts all her life, this is just nutty. I mean, you can get arrested for walking around with a beer in your hand, can't you? Or at least sent home? I mean, we just started being able to buy liquor on Sunday. But only between noon and 6. And you can't get it just anywhere; you have to go to a liquor store. Otherwise known as a packie. But here we were, walking around Disney MGM studios and people were just walking around with it! And on the CityWalk at Universal, there are just stands where you walk up and get alcohol to go. Freakin nutty. So we went to a reception and a show at SeaWorld the other day and since we had some time to kill between the two, we thought we'd try out this crazy idea. We walked toward the entrance of the park with drinks in our hands, and we were sure they were going to stop us at the gate, right? Nope! Did not even look twice at whatever we were carrying. Craziness!
  5. Friggin "Exit Only" lanes. They're everywhere. I hate them.
  6. Stipper joints. Even more abundant than the exit only lanes. And anything else in that category: escort services, adult "!!!XXX!!!" entertainment, you name it. Gotta keep those traveling businessmen happy. (Ew ewewew ew skeeve ew ew ewww)
  7. This hotel we're staying in? Doesn't let you park yourself. It's required valet. Which isn't bad or anything, just kind of a pain, and pretty unexpected since it's not exactly a fancy place. It just cracks me up though cuz here I am, here for over a week, coming and going as I please, running the valet boys ragged. Go get my car! Now put it away! Now get it again! Now put it back! Oops, forgot my coffee in there, go get it! Now! Now! Noowowww! :)
  8. The speed limit signs, at least the ones in I-4, are digital, and they change. So, the speed limit today might be 50, then tomorrow it might be 55. They just change it. Kooky! Does that make it easy to fight speeding tickets? "Well officer, it was 65 when I passed it."
  9. Another thing that's everywhere that is a lot more difficult to find in MA because it just became legal like, yesterday: tattoo and piercing parlors. The major thing keeping me from getting something stuck in some part of my body was the scarcity of parlors. We don't have any near my house--I'd have to drive pretty far away to get one. Here? They're everywhere. I know part of that is probably because I live in a suburb and I'm staying here in a major city, but still. So by the time I passed the 10th parlor I was like, "Heck! Why not?!" and went in and got my nose pierced. (The verdict? I love it. Hubby? Not so much. His approximate quote: "So, is this like a phase thing, or do I need to get used to it being permanent?" I said I didn't know.)
  10. There's a big excitement over the fact that Blue Man Group has arrived. Their show just started this month over at Universal. The signs are everywhere, the radio keeps playing the ads, the whole thing. This cracks me up, because BMG has been in Boston for what? 10 years? I'm hoping we get to see the show here though. Love those guys. :) My brother wants to be a BMG. Maybe he could move to Orlando?

OK that's it for me. I have big plans for today: gym, shower, nap, pool, read, write, coffee, email the kids (my kids! I miss my kids! But not enough to come home yet...). Big day. ;)

No comments: