Tuesday, August 19, 2008

This is my shiner. 30 years old, and I finally get my first one. I'm so proud. :)

The fabulous black eye you see here is courtesy of my two-year-old, who hit me with her head while we were playing. (I tried telling people I got in a fight, but no one freakin believes me! So much for upping my street cred...)

She was lying next to me in bed, when she sat up. I thought (silly me!) that she was done playing so I moved my head to where she was, when KA-BLAMMMM!! she threw herself backward with a force wielded exclusively by fearless two-year-olds, leaving her mother seeing stars, for realz.

In this pic it's a day old. You should have seen me yesterday. And I can't wait till it starts turning green! I'll have to wear matching eye shadow or something. It'll be a "look". :)

Aaaannyway, I wanted to come say hi, because I've been neglecting you. I know I've been neglecting you because my internet browser doesn't even prompt me with the blogger website address anymore. It has forgotten you. :( But no more!

OK, well, not for today, anyway. I'm still in summertime blog slump mode.

(Not for long though...two weeks til school starts! I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Kind of a disappointing summer, this. It better not rain between now and school...)

SO hi. That's it; nothing much more to say for now. I'm supposed to be studying new Zumba choreography, so that's what I'm going to do. ;)

Thursday, August 07, 2008


Wow, haven't been here in a while, huh?!
Well, I came here to vent, kind of.
I am so, so, overwhelmed.

I feel like I'm coming out of a cocoon, or a long hibernation or something. I'm looking around my house, and it is such a mess. Not like your average mess. A big, huge, hairy, ugly, unorganized, disaster mess.

Now, it's been like this as long as we've lived here, pretty much. But I'm realizing as I sit here that I've been in this daze of depression for so long that I just let it happen.

And now that I'm taking care of myself and feeling better? I can't believe this! I'm so disgusted and frustrated and...and...overwhelmed!

I get the mothering thing. I can do that. I love my kids and the time I spend with them is so joyful.

I get the wife thing. My husband and I are very blessed to still be deeply in love, and I feel like he and I are only growing closer as we get older.

I get the work thing. I mean, I do it, anyway. I hate my bill-paying job, but I do it because it pays the bills, and I pretty much do the bare minimum to get by. And I LOOOOOVE my Zumba job, but it sure takes up a lot of my time. Time I could spend on the house thing.

I do not--I repeat, DO NOT--get the house thing.

"You want me to what? Clean? Every day? And...cook? Every day? Who does that?!"

Seriously. I don't have time for this shit.

But! I'm learning. I'm learning that my attitude of "we're renting; this isn't OUR house" doesn't cut it because while it isn't our house, it is our home. And...I'm learning the cleaning thing.

Although, in case we needed evidence as to what a dork I truly am...I'm learning how to keep house...from...a book.

Gah, I'm such a dork.

My poor mother is groaning. You know, it's not like I didn't have chores growing up. I did! I folded laundry (although my husband will tell you I still totally suck at it). I mowed the lawn! I raked leaves. I cleaned my room...occasionally. I cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen every night.

But hell, that stuff was easy to do when I didn't have a job (ahem, two jobs) and a hubby and kids and a social life and hobbies and...the damn internet to suck up all my time!

OK, coffee break's almost over. Then back to cleaning. Possibly. I have good motivation: I want to have a yard sale to earn money for this and this and this and possibly these, and if I clean the house, I'll find more stuff to sell. I'm trying to do a two-birds-with-one-stone thing. Get yard sale stuff, clean and organize. All that = me overwhelmed, though.

S'all good. I'll just push off the yard sale another week or two.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Although, can I just say? What is it with my kids that they ONLY want to play with the very stuff I'm trying to clean! I clean the playroom, they go, "OOhhhh, clean playroom!" and trash it. I clean the craft table? "OOooooh! We have paint!" and trash that too.

My next cup of coffee might just have something extra special in it.