Tuesday, October 02, 2007

It's almost one in the morning. I was just lying in bed, completely unable to sleep. It might be all the things I have to do, circling around in my head.

Or...it could be that Diet Rockstar I drank a few hours back. Hm...maybe.

So while I was lying in bed for some reason I was thinking about my j-o-b. You know, the one I can't mention online under penalty of death.

I was thinking specifically about people who get paid a straight salary or hourly wage, as opposed to people who work for comission.

See, my company pays us REALLY good money to do what we do. It's ridiculous how much money we make, really. Not that I'm complaining! See, I make the same amount of money whether I'm working my rear end off trying to make mucho dinero for the company, or sitting around making photocopies.

That makes me a happy employee (I like my easy job, and I'm well paid!) and a competent employee (I've been there forever because they pay me too well to leave!) and it makes the customers happy because they get to deal with happy competent people, but it doesn't make me a very motivated employee.

We have a bunch of programs (that were not in place when I applied for the job, but whatever) that we're being tracked on. So if we're one of the lowest locations in the region for any given program, we get flack. But if what I just said about getting paid the same no matter what I'm doing is true, then why should I work any harder to reach our program goals, just for the bosses to say, "Good job. Now this time get this many."?

So then I look at people I know to be commission employees. Like at cell phone kiosks, retail clothing stores, that kind of thing. If you've got money, maybe you like shopping here because the employees are very attentive, and very careful to remember your name and what types of things you like to shop for. Maybe they even have your number so when something you might like comes in, they can hold your size and call you in.

But if you don't have money, like me, these kinds of employees come off as pushy, irritating, and self-serving. These kinds of employees make me want to yell, "Back off! When I want something I promise, I will come get you!" And I always feel like as soon as I walk in, they jump over each other to get to me first, and they're probably brawling while my back is turned. :)

So here you have highly motivated employees who don't seem too happy (that is, underneath their perfected customer-is-my-life's-joy facade), who annoy the customers, and who have a generally high turnover rate.

Nothing about this post is supposed to be particularly intelligent or persuasive--it's way past my bedtime y'know--it's just what I was thinkin about while I was lying awake, eyes refusing to shut.


K.B. said...

HAHAH OMG our lives overlap again!!! Jordon works inside one of your s-t-o-r-e-s as the manager of the cell phone kiosk. Yes, he is one of those pushy commission guys. Isn't that HILAROUS??

It is common knowledge that across the company, the you-know-who employees and the kiosk employees really have a hard time liking each other. (Especially the you-know-who managers.) In fact, on more than one occasion, they have gone out of their way to cause extra grief for the phone guys just because.

Jordon thinks the opposite is true. He thinks the you-know-who employees are bitter 'cause they can work their ass off and get nothing for it, where as if the phone guys work their ass off, they get commission AND a pretty fat bonus at the end of the month.

So this is one of those rare cases where EVERYONE gets the green grass!

I think that it's SO funny you posted about this, and I will NEVER argue that those guys aren't pushy son-of-a-guns, 'cause they are, but hey! We all gotta make a buck!

I bet you'd be surprised to learn that if you try to make nice with one of the kiosk guys, they are DYING for some friends within the store. They really do feel ostracized. Boo hoo, right? :p

K.B. said...

Oh, and P.S. Chuck was buying a new door lock 'cause the super ninja broke on the other night.

And P.P.S. I LOVE Dane Cook and can't wait for his new movie! w00t!

And P.P.P.S. The reason I started watching Chuck is 'cause it's on before Heroes. Do you watch that too? LOVE me some Heroes!